February 11, 2020 2 min read

Valentine's Day

We know love expands beyond just tea. Love spills into our relationships, hobbies, and simple pleasures like handholding or taking a stroll during sunset.

There are so many expressions of love that it would be hard to capture them all—so, fortunately, someone did it for us.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times Bestseller The Five Love Languages, packaged expressions of love into five categories. Each language has its own meaning and set of understanding, so we’re sharing these to help you connect and deepen your relationships with others.

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

“I love you.”

These three words go a long way with someone whose appreciation is sourced from the dictionary. Think: conversations, voicemails, and written notes (or emails) for someone who adores words.

Someone with this love language tends to express love through compliments and praise—and tends to express them often.

Words are taken to heart, which means negative or insulting comments are not only felt but remembered. Be thoughtful with your words because for these folks, words matter.

 2. QUALITY TIME

“Let’s cook together.”

This love language is all about tête-à-tête. Ditch distractions like television and smartphones, and really practice the art of presence.

For someone with this love language, eye contact and focused attention are key. Share time together because it’s bonding time (for them), and it reinforces the feeling of intimacy.

Also, be mindful of canceling or postponing plans. It could feel like a blow to someone who appreciates quality time.

3. RECEIVING GIFTS

“Thank you for the thoughtful gift.”

This isn’t about boxes and bows; this is about effort.

For those who love gift-giving and receiving, gifts represent a partner’s thoughtfulness. If you paid enough attention to understand your partner’s likes (and went through the trouble of purchasing a gift), then that’s interpreted as love.

Make this effort for the gift-giver—because they’re likely shopping from your wish list.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE

“Thanks for taking out the trash.”

Love-in-action is less about saying and more about doing. To be specific, it’s about doing things that make your partner’s life a little easier.

This can include a variety of actions like folding the laundry, picking up groceries, or clearing the table after dinner. While not the most glamorous, it carries the most meaning for someone with this love language.

Offer services to your partner because they’ll notice, and they’re offering services to you, too.

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH

“Let’s cuddle.”

For this love language, being in the same room won’t cut it. You’ve got to connect on a physical level, and that includes handholding, kissing, hugging, and bedroom activities.

Nothing is more powerful than the physical touch of a partner. For people with this love language, it’s not necessarily about PDA, but the intimacy and safety that’s felt through physical touch.

If this is your partner’s love language, be sure to prioritize that physical connection.

What’s your love language? We’d love to know! 👎👎👎👎


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